Stalking hoes and Beautiful Goddesses
by Nyx Goddess of Night
Summary: After Inuyasha gets fustrated with Kikyo's stalking he goes out for some fresh air oly to run into Kagome the most beautiful woman he has ever seen . Kag Inu review please !
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha !  
  
I don't Know what you heard about me  
  
But a bitch can't get a dolla out of me  
  
No Caddilac no purms you can't see  
  
That I'm a mother fuckin P I M P  
  
The song was boomin in his Mercedes Benz as he pulled into the drive way of his five story  
  
mansion . This man stepped out of his car , if you were to see him you would drool . He was decked  
  
out in Tommy Hilfiger clothes . He wore denim pants and a denim jacket that went over his red  
  
muscle shirt . ( As much as I hate T.H. he makes tight clothes ) He was Inuyasha , the most wanted  
  
bachelor in the world . He had it all , the money , the women , and the looks . He was exotic , his  
  
beautiful white hair that was past his butt and a bangin body . His eyes were something you had to  
  
see ,they were amber , you could look into those beautiful amber eyes forever . Many women wanted  
  
a piece of him especially Kikyo Bitchalot . She was obsessed with him , no matter how many times  
  
he told her to fuck off she wouldn't leave him alone . She seemed to think that since he went on one  
  
date with her that they were together . She seemed to think that they were soul mates. Inuyasha only  
  
laughed at her for thinking such things . He believed in having a soul mate , he just didn't believe  
  
that they were soul mates . Inuyasha unlocked his door and walked in , hanging from the ceiling was  
  
a beautiful glass chandelier and since the sun was shining on the chandelier it made it give off a  
  
rainbow look . In the living room he had a huge surround sound T.V. He had a gorgeous white  
  
couch with white pillows on it . In front of the couch was a white table with pink veins running  
  
through it and on the table was a bowl of seashells .(That's my living room !^_^) After tossing his  
  
denim jacket on the counter Inuyasha made his way towards his bedroom . As soon as he walked in  
  
he wished he hadn't ,there lying on his bed was Kikyo wearing nothing but a thong . " Hi Inu -baby  
  
," purred Kikyo as she got on all fours and crawled her way towards Inuyasha . She thought she  
  
was being sexy and obviously she thought wrong . She was trying to seduce him into mating with  
  
her . Inuyasha is a hanyou virgin and the person he gives his virginity away to would be his life mate  
  
. So Inuyasha had to be careful . He knew what she was trying to do and it pissed him off .  
  
Inuyasha's face turned several shades of red and it wasn't because he was embarrassed . He was  
  
far from it , here he was coming home to a place where sluts would leave him alone to find the queen  
  
of all whores lying in his bed tryin to get him to sleep with her , he was pissed . " What the fuck do  
  
you think you're doing here! " yelled a very pissed off Inuyasha . "Waiting for you Inu-baby , we  
  
haven't spent time with each other in so long ," replied Kikyo as she walked over to him and  
  
wrapped her arms around his waist . "Bitch, breaking and entering is against the law and I'm  
  
thinking about calling the police so they'll throw your stankin ass in jail," said Inuyasha as he  
  
pushed Kikyo away from him . His whole little speech obviously didn't get through to her because  
  
she kept on tryin to seduce him . " What's the matter my little Inu did you have a bad day ? Let me  
  
make you feel better ," said Kikyo as she began to plant kisses on Inuyasha's chest . Her hands  
  
seemed to get lower and lower until they were on his dick. She thought that she was arousing him  
  
and she obviously thought wrong because he quickly grabbed her hands . " You see this , this is  
  
what you do to me !" yelled Inuyasha as he forced Kikyo to look at his dick . " As you can see  
  
nothing ! I don't like you ! I hate your guts and I hope you die a slow and painful death ! I have a  
  
fucking court order that says you have to stay off my property and 200 yards away from me you  
  
psychotic bitch." You know you can't stand to be away from me ," purred Kikyo as she nuzzled her  
  
face into his chest ' Is she that dense ! God why won't she just go away !' thought Inuyasha . He  
  
then picked Kikyo up and started walking . Inuyasha finally got to the front door , opened it and  
  
threw Kikyo out . " This is the last time I'm going to tell you this stay the fuck away from me !" yelled  
  
Inuyasha as he slammed the door in Kikyo's face before she could try and run back into his house .  
  
Kikyo didn't think anything of it she just thought he was tired and wanted to be alone so she said  
  
nothing and went home . Inuyasha was stressed out , Kikyo just wouldn't leave him alone . No  
  
matter what he did , no matter how many names he called her she wouldn't back off . He decided he  
  
was going to go out and unwind a bit , so he grabbed his jacket and keys and walked out the door ,  
  
locked it and made his way towards his car .  
  
After driving around for an hour he finally decided to go to the mall and buy a few more pairs of  
  
Timberland shoes . Unknown to him Mrs. Bitchalot was still following him ,and of course as he was  
  
walking around all of the women were staring at him like he was god , except one . It was like  
  
something was drawing him towards her . He that since he was a Hanyou he could tell who his  
  
future mate would be and he could sense it was her . She was sitting down on one of the benches  
  
reading a magazine . She had only givin him a glance and went back to what she was doing . When  
  
she first looked at him her breath caught in her throat . He was truly a god , and something in her  
  
heart was telling her to walk over to him and ask him on a date but she wouldn't do that . That just  
  
wasn't her personality . Kagome then realized that he had been staring at her for like fifteen minutes  
  
and decided to take matters into her own hands and get him to stop starin " Boo !" yelled Kagome .  
  
As soon as she said that Inuyasha jumped like five ten feet in the air . He was very embarrassed  
  
about getting caught staring at her , but he couldn't help it she was so beautiful . " Feh ," said  
  
Inuyasha as he walked over to her totally forgetting why he had come to the mall in the first place .  
  
All of his attention was on this beautiful goddess next to him . " Sorry about that . My names  
  
Inuyasha what's yours ?" asked Inuyasha . He decided in his mind that he was going to make her  
  
his if it was the last thing he did . " I'm Kagome , nice to meet you Inuyasha ," said Kagome as she  
  
tried to shake his hand . When her hand was mere centimeters away Kikyo jumped in between them  
  
, which was pretty hard seeing as how they were sitting on a bench . Her landing was not soft at all  
  
she landed head first on the bench . She had a little headache but brushed it a side so she could  
  
deal with the little hefah who was trying to make a move on her man . " You little slut ! Get the fuck  
  
away from my man ! " yelled Kikyo , she had been following him ever since he left his house . "  
  
Kikyo didn't I tell you to stay away from me ! Our lawyers and the judge agreed that you would stay  
  
200 yards away from me !" yelled Inuyasha . " Oh yeah Kikyo is it ? If you call me a slut one more  
  
time I'm going to kick your ass!" yelled Kagome . She tried very hard to sound serious , she was  
  
failing miserably . This woman had dove head first into a bench to keep her from shaking hands with  
  
him . It was hilarious , she didn't think it could get any funnier . " It's Mrs. Bitchalot to you !" yelled  
  
Kikyo . All of a sudden Kagome burst out laughing . She thought it couldn't get any funnier but it just  
  
did . " She's kidding right ?" asked Kagome as she looked over to Inuyasha . Inuyasha shook his  
  
head and Kagome started laughing harder to the point where her sides hurt and tears were coming  
  
out . " Mrs. Bitchalot ! Bitch -a -lot ," said Kagome as she stretched out Kikyo's last name . " You  
  
sure do bitch a lot !" laughed Kagome . Soon both Inuyasha and Kagome were on the ground  
  
laughing as Kikyo stormed off . Five minutes later they were still laughing . They were both rolling  
  
around on the ground laughing . People were starting to stare but they didn't notice . They finally  
  
realized they looked crazy rolling around on the ground laughing so they got up and sat down on  
  
the bench . " Thank you very much ! I've been trying to get her off my back all day !" said a happy  
  
Inuyasha . " It was no problem , didn't have to try hard . That last name of hers was to funny . Then  
  
there was her entrance . She dove head first into the bench to keep me from touching you . She  
  
must have a thick skull to still be up and kicking after banging her head on the bench like that !"  
  
said Kagome still chuckling. Just thinking about Mrs. Bitchalot sent her into another fit of giggles . " I  
  
would like to take you out to dinner as a thank you ," said Inuyasha who was a little unsure of  
  
himself. " I would love to ," said Kagome still laughing . Inuyasha was so happy that he forgot to get  
  
address and phone number . He just kept on walking in Lala land skipping down the mall . Kagome  
  
could of helped him out and told him to wait so she could give him her number , but she didn't, she  
  
wanted to see how long it took for him to realize that he didn't get her address and phone number .  
  
Inuyasha was now passing the store called Rave when he realized he didn't have her address or  
  
phone number . He quickly ran back to her and asked her for it . " I see you finally realized you didn't  
  
have any of my information ," chuckled Kagome as she pulled out a pin and a piece of paper and  
  
wrote down her info . " Hey you could have told me before I left ! I was so happy you said yes that I  
  
didn't realize ! " said Inuyasha he didn't even realized that he had told her he was happy she said  
  
yes . "I wanted to see how long it took for you to realize it. You seemed so happy that you were  
  
humming and skipping ," chuckled Kagome . " Feh , well I'll see you tonight at eight ," said  
  
Inuyasha . " Yeah ! See yah !" said Kagome . They both then went there separate ways . 


	2. A waitress with a mustache ?

Disclaimer: I don't Inuyasha and I never will !  
  
The night of there date had started out wonderful but ended up a little ......... weird . They went to a restaurant called Tom's . The place with the best ribs in the world . There waiter seemed a little odd though , she had a mustache and wore heavy black make up . If she didn't have a mustache and all that make up on she would be a spitting image of Kikyo . 'Hmmmmm I wonder......nah ," thought Kagome as she looked at her menu and decided to order . " Excuse me waitress we're ready to order ," said Kagome looking the weird waitress in the eye . The waitress looked Kagome up and down ,gave her an evil glare and went on doing what she had been doing which was nothing . " Excuse me waitress we're ready to order !" yelled Kagome for the second time . Still gettin only a glare and no response she gave up . " Um excuse me waitress we're ready to order ," said Inuyasha . The waitress quickly turned around pulled out her note pad and rushed to his side . " Yes sir what would you like ?" asked the waitress as she stared intently on Inuyasha . " Bitch ," mumbled Kagome . " Excuse me miss what was that ?" asked the waitress as she glared at Kagome . " I called you a bitch ! I've been tryin to get your fuckin attention this whole time ," yelled Kagome . " Well i'm sorry miss I didn't hear you ! You don't have to go calling me names ," said the waitress as she began to cry. " That is a bunch of bull shit and you know it !" yelled Kagome . The tears were flowing down the waitresses face like a river , and for some strange reason her mustache was coming off . " Wait a god damn minute ," yelled Kagome as she got up and ripped off the mustache . " Kikyo you bitch !" yelled Kagome as she gave her a black eye , grabbed her by the collar and smashed her face into a the chocolate cake that was on the dessert table .  
  
I'm sorry its so short but I'm experiencing writers block ! I know I know you're probably saying how can you have writers block when you only have one story . Well i have another pen name it's lexluvsyash . Well until next time ! I'm sorry if I've been a little ...............naughty . 


	3. Mr Bitchalot

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha and I never will , so don't sue! I own Jackshit!  
  
' That bitch , she actually thought she could get away with this . The two timin slut thought she wouldn't get caught. As soon as her ass steps into this door way she's mine! Her ass is mine ! ' thought Mr. Bitchalot , Kikyo's husband .  
  
  
  
" What a fucked up day , my boo is cheating on me ! To think , she actually had the nerve to smash my face into a vanilla cake . The nerve of some people ! My day cant get any worse !" said Kikyo as she walked into her house unaware of the danger lurking behind the door . Opening the door silently Kikyo crept into the house . Right behind the door was a very angry husband ,with a leather black whip behind his back, and an evil look on his face .  
  
" Kikyo honey ! " called Mr. Bitchalot calmly as he tapped her on the shoulder . She didn't know how he got behind her , she was sure she had walked into the house by herself . " Yyyyeesss honey ," stuttered Kikyo . She knew what was coming , this happened every time he found out about the other guys." I know what you've been up to when I'm gone . For that you will be punished ," said Mr. Bitchalot as he pushed her on the cold white marble floor . " You've been cheating on me haven't you bitch !" he yelled . " Nnnnoo I haven't ," she stuttered out . Then with a sing songy voice he said " I can tell you're lying because when you're replying you're stutter sstttuttter stttutere sssttuttering ." Crack , he lashed out at her with the whip . "I left the best man of my life for what ! For you ! You stupid bitch ! I gave you the best years of my life and this is how you repay me ! I went straight for you ! I could've been with my beloved Sesshy ! But no , I'm stuck with you ! You cheatin whore !" he screamed as he continued to hit her repeatedly with the whip ! She lied there not a single tear shed , not a single word uttered , only one single scream erupted from her mouth ! She didn't care about the beating she just took . I mean the whip wasn't real ! He just thinks that it is , all that thing was doing to her was tickling. What hurt most was the fact that she was married to a gay man ! " Nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo," she screamed . Satisfied Mr. Bitchalot went up to his room , pulled out a photo from his dresser drawer . It was a picture of Sesshomaru . He walked over to his wife's vanity set put on some red lipstick and kissed the picture . " Oh how I miss you ! My love , my soul mate ! Sesshomaru ,"  
  
" Someone's kissing a picture of me ," said Sesshomaru as he wrapped a possessive arm around Rin's waist . " Don't be silly Sesshy ," said Rin . "Its Jaken I know it's him !" growled Sesshomaru . 


	4. Mr Bitchalot is Gay ? Sesshomaru a soul ...

Disclaimer: I don't own Jack shit so don't sue!  
  
After kissing the picture of Sesshomaru Mr. Bitchalot a.k.a. Jaken set the picture down on the side of the bed . "If only you loved me back ! But no , you had to fall in love with that stupid twit named Rin , and have a child with her named Hellissa . I could've given you everything , but you spit in my face !" Yelled Jaken as he balled his fists up . He felt like punching something and he knew just the thing , or person to work off his frustrations . Walking down the brown carpeted stairs he made his way towards where Kikyo was suppose to be . He got there , and found nothing , not a single trace of the bitch . He searched all around but found no trace of Kikyo . Grabbing his keys he ran out the door . He drove around for a bit until he spotted what looked like Kikyo with some other guy ! " That bitch !" screamed Jaken as he drove straight at them attempting to run them over . Lucky for the both of them Inuyasha had managed to push them both out the way . Getting up and brushing off there clothes they both made there way towards Jakens car that was now smashed up . "What the fuck is your problem !" screamed Kagome as she grabbed Jakens small form from out the car . " you know why I did it Kikyo ! You cheatin hoe ! I should beat you again !" yelled Jaken while grabbing a hold of Kagome's black locks . Pulling her head back Jaken began to speak "Thought you could get away from me didn't you Kikyo ! You ruined my life , so I'm goin to make yours a living nightmare ," said Jaken as he licked the side of Kagome's face . Grabbing hold of his arm Kagome had gotten him off her . " First off all you ugly ass I'm not Kikyo ! Second of all I'm about to make your life a living nightmare ! It's going to be hell ! " yelled Kagome as she knocked Jaken on the ground . Kicking him until he was uncontious Kagome looked at his limp form on theground . He was a short ugly man with warts all over his face. He looked at least 40years old and at least 4"0 . ":Do you know him Inuyasha ?" asked Kagome kicking him one more time . " His name is Jaken Bitchalot ," " You mean he's................. 


	5. Get the pitt bulls! Get the sedatives! G...

**"You mean he's Kikyou's husband? No wonder why the bitch has been around the block, and was chasing after you ! I would be doin the same damn thing ....shoot I'd rather be kissing a dog than this thing!" spoke Kagome .He was just so ugly looking , he was beyond ugly he was hideous .**

**"I don't think you should stare at him for to long . He's so ugly he could turn you to stone ," warned Inuyasha as he grabbed Kagome's arm and sprinted away from the ugly short man that was moaning and groaning on the ground.**

**Picking himself up off the ground Jaken got back into his busted car ,and drove off to find the one person who could make him feel better. Pulling up to the gate to be checked out by the security guard.**

**"Name please , and state your business!" yelled the security guard who was standing right up against the metal bars of the gate surrounding the owners home.**

**"Jaken Bitchalot! I'm here to see my bootylicious and sexy lover ....Fluffikins," groaned out Jaken as he stepped out his car and walked up to the guard.**

**"I'm but Sesshomaru is not expecting any visitor by the name of Jaken Bitchalot," chuckled the guard.**

**"Why don't you call my Sesshilious now , and tell him that I'm here I'm sure he'll want me to see him in the bedroom chambers right away," spoke Jaken as he licked his lips and pressed his body up against the gate .**

**"I'm sorry Sir but I can't do that . Why don't you go home , and I'll tell Sesshomaru that you wanted to meet with him and you two can schedule another meeting ," said the guard.**

**"If you do this for me .....they'll be a little treat for you at the end . I'll give you a little piece of this!" moaned Jaken as he smacked his ass .**

**Seeing that the guard was able to resist his womanly charms , Jaken grabbed the guard around his neck and banged his head up against the metal bars. Seeing as he was pretty small and really thin Jaken slid through the bars and ran towards the front door of his lovers home.**

**His head hurt like hell , but he had to warn his boss . **

**"Sir! Code three forty five !" yelled the guard over the phone before he passed out .**

**"Sesshomaru code three forty five is what ?" asked a worried Rin as she cradle baby Helissa in her arms.**

**"Code three forty five is 'Retarded ass gay man who thinks I'm his lover is on the loose' ," whispered Sesshomaru harshly.**

**"Rin I want you and Helissa to go lock yourselves in the master bedroom !" yelled Sesshomaru as he rushed his wife and kid into the room .**

**"Get the pitt bulls! Get the sedatives! Get the guns !" yelled Sesshomaru as he ordered the maids and the butlers to get ready to fight.**

**"Honey ! I'm home!!!!!!" purred Jaken as he busted open the door.**


End file.
